She has come a long way in almost 19 years. I can't talk about my daughter's journey in life without mentioning her last two and a half years of struggle with Functional Neurological Disorder. It all came to a head when she felt numb in the arms and legs, when her heartrate dipped closer to 40 beats per minute, and when she zonked out every couple of minutes, conscious but unable to maintain posture or respond. We thought we were going to lose her. Finally scooting her up to the emergency department at Children's Mercy in Kansas City, we were able to start getting some answers. |
Naturally, her grades suffered, but, though she may have wanted to, she never gave up. Her greatest accomplishment for her senior year was serving as a drum major for one of the largest high school band programs in the area. Even though she would collapse repeatedly on and off the football field, she marched throughout the season, leading her group to victories in competitions.
Her dream was to march and play her flute at the university level, so she auditioned for the Pride of Oklahoma, in hopes of getting into the Music Education program and attend the University of Oklahoma. The wait for results was agonizing and slow, and her brain decided to try some new techniques, not wanting to shut down some of the emotional responses like it normally should. She started exhibiting physical tics and even began to have some pretty intense-looking non-epileptic seizures.
By the time the results of auditions were reported, she didn't think she could wait any longer, but the reports were favorable: her name was on the list. She qualified not only to attend the school, but to march on the field with the 300-piece OU band during her freshman year at the school.
That means she is off to college four hours away from home, out of state, without her parents or any of the things that could stabilize her emotions. She's off on her own in a strange place for the first time, and her mother and I pray daily for her security, balance, and well-being. This young lady has all the tools she needs to be successful, but we pray that she remembers to use them. She has already started training intensely with the Pride, and it's a lot of extra work. No doubt, she's going to be exhausted.
When we moved her into the dormitory, last week, we had the typical, tearful moments, but for our daughter, I think those moments mean something much deeper. Not only is she far from home, but her journey has brought her far from where she was a couple of years ago, too. If she can overcome the things she has overcome and still achieved the scholarships and prestige that she currently experiencing, who knows what else she can do. Unfortunately, she expects perfection from herself, and she is always afraid of failure. I keep telling her, as I do with all of my students, that mistakes are opportunities for growth and that they are part of the process, but I know how much she expects of herself. She shouldn't ever be afraid of failing to live up to my expectations, but I know she does.
We wish for her to be independent - to be able to take care of herself - but we also want for her to find a strong peer group that will support her quirkiness and her passions. Mostly, we want her to remain faithful to her beliefs, to face any challenges that college life throws into her path and overcome them. I suppose we love her a whole lot, and like any respectful parent, we only want the best for her future. At the same time, we really don't like being this far away from our firstborn. It's just as much of an adjustment for us as it is for her.
She has reportedly been quite active in her first week, marching for hours with the freshmen members of the band, going through behavior expectations and security protocols with the band, taking part in the peppy introductory activities of an orientation of sorts, participating in ice-breakers and team-builders, celebrating the newness of university life, working with the campus outreach center for the church, checking her mail, and doing laundry. It has been enough to wear her out, resulting in her step count has been somewhere between 10,000 a day to over twenty thousand, and school has yet to actually begin. Tonight the entire band will form and broadcast on social media with the "first boomer", that is, the actual first public performance of the Boomer Sooner fight song.
That is not to say that there aren't hurdles and difficult moments ahead of her. We realistically expect mistakes and setbacks to occur along the way - just like there will be for all of these students - but we also appreciate, so far, that she seems to be thriving with this shift of focus. She loves her roommate and all of the new acquaintances she has made so far.
With more than 4,700 freshmen starting in the school, this year, they have set records in number, in grade point averages, and in minority enrollees. In short, we wish them all well, and we pray for their continuing success. We also hope for positive outcomes to their lives beyond school.