When we watched this Positive Behavior Video, we noticed the kids were wearing shirts with the slogans, Today Is a Good Day To..., and As Soon As Possible... That's when we decided to try out some of the revision techniques I picked up from author Kate Messner at the recent Write to Learn conference. After modeling the process, students were given a short time to write a poem beginning with Today is a good day to... After writing, I modeled the next part of the process - putting smells into the poem I had written before. Students did the same, followed by a period of adding sounds, then another period of adding anything else. Finally, we took a minute or two to remove superfluous words. | Students seemed to get into the process, and they recognized their success in improving their writing with every revision. Here's what I came up with in our short writing time (and I don't even enjoy the beach): |
Smelling the salty air
Soft sand oozes between tired toes
Waves lap, lap, lap over my bare legs
Wondering what creatures share the water with me
Dreaming about a voyage to flowery wonderlands
Ukuleles dancing in the distance
Today is a good day to swim in the ocean
Floating upon a serene mirror
Losing thoughts in the cool, coppery mist of morning
Where old water meets fresh breeze
And sea gulls call for stale breadcrumbs
Their annoying screeches becoming an unmistakable part
Of an otherwise peaceful setting
Today is a good day to relax in the ocean
Looking up at the sun and wondering
What lies beyond the pure white clouds on the horizon
Whether thundering storms or lilting rainbows, promise or challenge
Pondering alternatives
Making careful choices
That will affect life’s direction
Today is a good day to splash in the ocean
Losing myself in the vast mystery and beauty of God’s creation
Allowing troubles to sink into unexplored trenches
Trumpeting success as it floats to the surface of the roaring liquid
Unobstructed by doubts and fears
Uninhibited by rusty anchor chains
That hold me, unmoving, in a place I do not want to stay
Today is a good day to dive deep into the ocean
Avoiding the rumbling beasts of bitterness
Swimming past snarling, chum-seeking sharks of snark and gutteral growling
Leaving in silence the jellyfish’s mean-spirited stings
Today is the day I reach for vast, undefined goals
Today is the day I swim forward, with all others
Sometimes confused, at times resolute, in the crowded, noisy ocean of life