When George Washington was about 16 years old, he set about to copy 110 Rules of Civility from a school book. The exercise was intended to improve his penmanship while at the same time develop his character. While some of the Rules are obsolete, a few of them are quite relevant today.
 | These are the rules that govern proper conversation:
|
It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak befo[re] ourselves
especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.
* * * * *
Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
* * * * *
Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies
to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect
and high[ly] Honour them, and those of high Degree
ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.
* * * * *
In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean
nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them
at lest Keep a full Pace from them.
* * * * *
In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion
if you be not Knowing therein.
* * * * *
In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title
According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
* * * * *
Strive not with your Superiers in argument,
but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.
* * * * *
Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses;
it Savours of arrogancy.
* * * * *
Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place
[with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to ac]t the same
with a Clown and a Prince.
* * * * *
Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act agst the Rules Mora[l]
before your inferiours.
* * * * *
Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none
although they give Occasion.
* * * * *
Be not froward but friendly and Courteous;
the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive
when it's a time to Converse.
* * * * *
Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.
Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company
but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do
and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.
* * * * *
Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly
nor bring ou[t] your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.
* * * * *
When Another Speaks be attentive your Self
and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words
help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not,
nor Answer him till his Speec[h] be ended.
* * * * *
In the midst of Discourse ask [not of what one treateth]
but if you Perceive any Stop because of [your coming
you may well intreat him gently] to Proceed:
If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it's handsome
to Repeat what was said before.
* * * * *
While you are talking, Point not with your Finger
at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him
to whom you talk especially to his face.
* * * * *
When your Superiours talk to any Body
hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.
* * * * *
In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself
Speak not ti[l] you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright
put of your Hat & Answer in few words
* * * * *
Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressigns,
nor rep[eat] often the Same manner of Discourse.
There is so much to say about the art of conversation as we will learn it in our classroom:
- Speak in turn, with permission only.
- Sharply track every speaker with your eyeballs.
- Give full attention.
- Stay on the topic.
- Avoid repeating ideas and statements that have already been expressed.
- Stop talking when you do not know what you are talking about. Listen instead.
- Do not talk just because there is a lull in the conversation or presentation.
- Do not interrupt a speaker, whether in formal or casual conversation.
- Think before you speak. Speak with distinction, not so quickly that others cannot understand your words.
- Your elders get to speak first. When an adult is talking, children stop talking.
- Respect personal space when talking to someone.
- Listen more than you talk.
- Do not argue; learn to disagree with respect and dignity.
- Do not ever try to show off what you know that others do not know; be humble.
- In this class, the teacher is the class clown: do not try to win that title from him.
- Teasing and sarcasm are often used when someone is comfortable with you; strive to understand the difference between these and comments that are mean-spirited.
- Keep you comments clean and appropriate.
- Cursing is inappropriate, and words that simply replace cursing are also discouraged.
- Refrain from pointing at people.
- Do not be crude.
- When you have something to offer, please do so. Do what you can to face your shy nature and conquer it.
- Dominating the conversation is off-putting and tells listeners that you only value your own ideas.
